Random Jokes =)

Who is cleverer? Teacher or student?

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn't
Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and
said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return
the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way
back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked
him and said they will be ready by that time...
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as
this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in
separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name.........................( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tyre burst?...............( 98 MARKS )

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!!!

True story from IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992-96

All of them mati liao!

Buyers Beware When in China

A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids.
He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods,
he asked the shopkeeper, 'What would happen if this does not work?'

The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads,

'GUARANTEE NO SPOILT.'

Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He tried to use the
CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not even switch on.

He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit.
When the shopkeeper refused to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him
of a guarantee.

The shopkeeper then said, 'Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.'

The sharing of marriage...

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing
one half in front of his wife .

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two
piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down
between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people
around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is
one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and
politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said,
they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns
sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another
meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used
to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin,
the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single
bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered:















'THE TEETH.'